Слова на Мъдростта / Лекции на Върховния Учител Чинг Хай

Experience Heaven on Earth, Part 9 of 9

Език:English,Dutch (Nederlands)
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Everything’s OK in Holland. Right? Everything is accepted, lots of freedom of religion. It’s a very cool country. Your country is very cool here. It’s very great here.

How are you? How are you? (You are so beautiful, Master!) OK, huh? Right, right, right. Oh, baby. Baby, baby. Oh, baby. Don’t cry. It’s all right. (I miss You, Master. I love You.) (Hallo, Master.) Hallo. (Hallo, Master.)

Oh! My God! (Happy Mother’s Day, Master.) Happy. Happy to you. Happy Mother’s Day to you. Yes. See you later. See you. See you later, inside. OK? See you later. Thank you very much. OK. Yes. Yes. Ca va, today?

(Make way, make way. )Oh, be careful. (Hallo, Master.) How are you? Yes, hallo. OK. How are you? Hi, how are you guys? Bye. OK. (OK. Come and try.)

You know any place near the riverside that cars cannot go in, like people walk, and then you…So, I walked in and I said, “Ooh, this is very unique. I’ve never seen this in the whole world.” Everything’s OK in Holland. Right? Everything is accepted, lots of freedom of religion. It’s a very cool country. Your country is very cool here. It’s very great here.

Appelsap? Apple? (It’s orange juice. It’s not applesap.)

Not everybody understands. They have a little physical communication problem. But inside we have no problem. (Yes.) We communicate anytime. You should ask me, “Are You beautiful?” After initiation there’s not much to talk about. We just look at each other and laugh.

Do you want to hear some jokes? (Yes.) I forgot. I just know some jokes recently. I told a lot of jokes. In Switzerland, I heard a very, very good joke. I laughed for many, many days. Do you want to hear that joke? (Yes.) OK.

It’s from one of our sisters in Switzerland. But do you have translation? Anyhow, when I finish one sentence, you just laugh. You know I’m telling a joke, so you laugh, all right? Anyhow. The ones who understand translate to the ones who don’t understand. The way she told it was very, very, very funny. I’m just trying to be as funny as I can. There’s a couple, an English couple. You sit there, be quiet. (Initiation.) What? Go in. Quick, quick, quick, quick. Who else is going? Kids? Initiation time. Go in. Are they going? Done. Close the door. OK.

There was a couple, an English couple, a little old. They decided that they should go have a vacation together. So, they drove their car, you know, old… OK, for you who don’t understand English, I’m trying to make… Two persons, old. One man and one woman, a couple, driving car. Go Europe. First, they go to Austria. But please, this I heard (as) a joke only. It’s not true, so the Austrian people, do not get offended. So they went to Austria, and when they passed the border, “Pppzzzzttt!” passed the border, Austria, England, England, Austria. No, England, Austria, passed the border, “Pppzzzzttt!” to Austria. Austria. They’re going to Austria. First time they see big, big, big, big trees. You know, trees? They’re like this, “Boo.” I can’t see a big tree. And they saw a man sitting on top of the tree. On a tree like this, a man sits there. And they stop the car. Stop the car, “Zzzt!” And they look up to the tree, “Hey, what are you doing up there?” So the man says, “Can’t you see? I am driving a motorbike.” Motorcycle from the tree. So, the wife says to the husband, “I think this man is crazy. We better run away fast.” So they drive the car fast. “Zzzzt!” Poof! Gone. After a while, they saw another big tree. Big and tall like that, and there’s another man sitting on top of the tree there. And they stop the car. “Hey, what are you doing up there?” they ask. And the man again says, “Can’t you see? I’m driving a motorcycle.” So, the husband says to his wife, “You were right. I think this is a crazy country. Maybe we better go home.” But the wife says, “We already came so far. Maybe we’ll just try to look a little bit further. If nothing better, then we can go home.” So, the husband says, “OK. We better get out of here fast.” “Zzzoom!” Gone. And then, after a long while, they saw another big tree, big and tall like this, and there’s another man sitting on top of the tree. And they stop the car. “What are you doing up there?” the wife asks. And the husband says, “Don’t ask. He’ll answer the same.” So the wife said, “Never mind, let me try it. You have to always give people a chance.” So OK. So, the husband says, “All right then. What are you doing up there?” So, the man says, “Can’t you see? I’m eating an apple.” So the wife says, “Oh, thank God. Thank God. You don’t know what happened. Far back there, we saw two men who were sitting on top of the trees. And when we asked them what they were doing, they both said that they were driving a motorcycle. It was terrible for us to hear.” So, the man who was eating an apple, just threw the apple down immediately and said, “What! Oh, my God! Are they coming already? I better leave.”

Is it good? I think that’s the best joke I heard for a long, long time. I laughed so many days. Every time I drive a car, I remember; and every time I see a motorcycle pass by, I laugh again. It’s so funny. Anyhow, I have so many jokes, but I forgot already. (What about the cheese joke?) The cheese joke? Already told everywhere. Everywhere I go, they give me cheese.

They’re hoping that I stay. Hoping. Just make excuse to sit here for you to have a look, because you pay a lot of money for airplane tickets. Just to compensate for your tickets’ money. Do you have any jokes for me? Like “voom, voom, voom.” Is she here, Ursula? No? She liked that joke very much. (I just want to say that Ireland is a very beautiful country. You are going to Ireland, right?) Yes. To Dublin. (It’s very beautiful.) I’m sure, I saw it on the movies. (It’s beautiful.) Yes. Are you going there? (No, I was there three times in the last six months.) Oh, (yes. But it’s very nice. The people, we…the Dutch, think that the Irish are a little bit like the Dutch, but they are really different.) Oh, yeah? (They are very on the ground, very earthed.) Yes. What do you mean by that? They are nice? (Well, they’re very realistic. In Holland we are a little bit dreamy, but there, they are really, you know, they’re really here.) So, what will we do? What shall I do about it? What do I expect? (Make them…) (Tell them Your jokes.) Tell them the joke about the trees? (Africa.) Africa. OK. Well, the trees are more suitable for the Austrians than the Hollanders, the dreaming people, right? No, I’m just joking. No country is like that. Don’t tell this to Austrian people. They will kill us. No, everybody can take a joke now and again. OK, huh? Kiddos. Thank you for all the effort and your love and your presence. See you around. Goodbye. Thank you. (Goodbye.) Thank you all for coming. (Thank You for Your hard work, Master.) Not at all. (Thank You, Master, for visiting the Netherlands.) It’s nothing. You’re welcome.

(Happy Mother’s Day.) Happy Mother’s Day to you! (Happy birthday, Master.) It’s not my birthday yet. Not yet, not yet. How are your husband and child? Very good. All of you are so young. OK, babies. Take care and we love each other very much. (Thank You.) See you. I’ll see you again. (Poland. Poland.) Because my luggage is getting smaller every day. I need this, I need that. Where is California people? (Yes, I’m here.) Give them this to send to Florida. (Yes.) Send it, OK. (This one is for Master. Master please take this.) OK. OK. (That pair of shoes. The shoes, Master.) This pair of shoes? Send them as well? It’s just a pair of shoes, you want it too? (Yes, this as well.) Everybody wants to take my things. How can I give the shoes I’m wearing?

Some of you are going to another country? (Yes.) If you go, then see you later. If you don’t go, then see you later. OK. Ciao. (Yes, Master. Bye-bye.) I got to go. Ciao, babies! (Bye-bye, Master. Thank You, Master.) Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hollander, come here. (Hollander, only. Hollander. Sister, back, back, please.) Hollander. (Master, nice to meet You. I am a driver if You need.) Driver? From Holland? Ah, very nice. Thank you. You what?

(Master, please leave safely.) I’m supposed to be alone, so everybody can take care of their jobs. You know, more important is I do my job. I alone, no problem, I take care of myself. (We again welcome You to the Netherlands.) Thank you. Good. Bye-bye. (Bye-bye, Master! I love You.) (Bye, Master. Bye!)

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