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Faith and Experiences, Part 2 of 12

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(My husband is not an initiate. And since I became initiated, we’ve been growing further and further apart in a lot of ways, that he doesn’t understand me, and it’s been a big frustration for both of us. […] And I just don’t know what to do, what would be the best. […]) Do you still love him? (Yes, I do.) OK. Then try and get him back. (Try to keep going?) Keep him. (OK.) Do anything you can. (Yes.) Because the more you’re distant, the more you will lose each other. You have to participate with him, the life with him, include him in your life, and tell him again and again and again, that you love him and you don’t want to lose him. And this is just one of your new hobbies. And would he please understand that. […]

So sometimes this is the individual karma that affects your initiation or the collective karma of the whole group of people that alters your initiation date. Or sometimes the whole karma of Africa. (Yes.) So please forgive us. (Yes. I understand it’s really turbulent.) Yes. Sometimes it causes trouble like that. (Yes.) And do not listen to the devil because you got initiation, and that’s very rare. (Yes.) Some people wait for a long time. Be happy that you’re in Africa… (Oh, I am. Because I only waited for five weeks.) Oh, that’s it! Anything else on your mind? The doubt? (I don’t think so. Not now.) Only that, right? (If there is I’ll….) OK, I’m very sorry. (Thank You for everything, Master.) No problem.

And some other people, like in other countries, sometimes it’s much more difficult. They also get very angry. Because it’s like this: If we send a messenger there, sometimes they cannot have that location because it was found out by the police or something. They have to change it to another, and then they found out again, they have to run to another location. And before that, the would-be initiates have to be led to a nowhere location, like in a rice field or something, stand there for half a day and wait. And then somebody else comes there and asks some secret code, and then they have to bring them to another location and wait there and that again. And then another person will come and fetch them to another location. And if they’re lucky, they get initiated that day.

Another thing is sometimes the contact person cannot contact the would-be initiates on time. And then when they find out later that the Quan Yin messenger has been there and initiated many people except them, they get mad with the contact person. But over there, the situation’s very difficult, sometimes they don’t have a telephone. They’re poor and many people don’t have a telephone. So to run on foot, or to run on horseback or bicycle, sometimes it causes a lot of problems. And so they’re not informed on time sometimes. So some people have to wait for years. Sometimes years, sometimes months, sometimes… oh, long, long time. And being let down many times. And this, we cannot do anything about it. It’s very difficult sometimes. And up to now, even though I help a lot of Aulacese (Vietnamese) people, and we still do (relief work) with the disasters in Âu Lạc (Vietnam), they still write bad (things in) newspapers about me. And harass my parents, and my relatives, my friends, whoever they can think of that has a connection with me.

You see. So three times is not bad. Not bad. OK? You are lucky, and you speak English so we can have some English messengers. Sometimes the languages are more difficult – Hungarian, or Polish or whatever. We’re struggling with the maya of this world too. Not only you. And the language problem is sometimes mainly the big problem too. And the political situation, the transportation, and the new location for the Quan Yin messengers – they’re new in many lands, very new. So I’m very happy and grateful that God sent them to me so that we can have so many brothers and sisters due to their hard work. They are my extended hands, but sometimes the hand is handicapped or has an accident or is broken or something. You never know.

So please, next time, if you encounter the same problem, or if any of your friends, relatives, encounter the same problem, please help me to explain to them and ease their tension and tell them to be patient and pray to God. And help us. Help us. Because I really also have a lot of difficulties in this mission. Or else the whole world should have been initiated long ago for the effort that we have made in the last 15 years. You don’t know how much money I spent on... for example, sample booklets. We printed millions, upon millions, millions of free sample booklets and opened so many free exhibitions for vegan food, and free lectures, everywhere, everywhere. A lot, a lot of effort and money also, and time. And still we have many obstructions. So please help us. Help me. And don’t be angry with me.

I’m very angry with myself too. Because I’m not powerful enough to just point a finger and everybody then goes to Heaven. And God’s hand then carries them to Heaven. I wish I could do that. I wish it was that easy. Suppose it’s that easy, sister, I don’t have to even come here. Enough that Jesus has come, Buddha has come. And we would have gone already. The whole world would have gone. In this time, we should be thankful that things are easier. In Jesus’ time, this time, 2000 years ago, oh! He had more difficulty. And He ended up on the cross. You know that. We are very lucky, very fortunate already.

And the vegan diet also causes problems for you, I guess. You’re not used to it. Many of you. And you don’t know how to cook vegan food. And you think just put vegetables. It’s true like that. On the airplane, they just give us vegetables anytime. 100% pure vegan. Nothing else. So I guess you are struggling very hard with your food on this spiritual journey and I really do appreciate it. You see that’s why you’re priority. You came first to me. See? This morning, and all the flat faces staying down there. I do appreciate your effort and your patience. And I really have so much respect for you – especially from a different culture like yours, the Occidental people, and the African people, because it’s more difficult for you than for us. We are more used to tofu, gluten, beans and all that. And you are not very used to it. Still, you manage to feed yourself well, I can see. Not bad. Not bad at all! OK, I’m sorry we take a lot of time with this. But this will be a repeated question by many of you. That’s why I elaborate a little bit more. So please help me to clarify next time in the future for me, for us.

Next one, please. OK. One at a... whoever’s near. Yeah. (Please, Master, this isn’t a question, I just want to make a comment. The [vegan] food has been delicious!) (Yes.) Oh, yes? (Yes.) (Yes.) (Thank You, very, very much. It has been wonderful. Wonderful, I tell You.) Oh, OK. (Much better than the other food that we used to eat. I say we because I’m sure everyone agrees with me.) Yes. (It’s delicious, every day. And I appreciate all the wonderful efforts, and the kindness, and all the hard work that I know that has gone into this retreat. So thanks again.) Yes. It’s not the first time. You missed many other times! It’s not the first time that we have such good (vegan) food.

Next one, please. Yeah, here. OK. Go behind first. I’m sorry. Just for convenience’s sake, and we come to you later. Yes, please. (Master, could You please tell me a few words about how could I think of staying on the Way in those times that I have a lot of doubts, and I’m ready to leave?) Yes, yes. Where’re you from, sister? (Originally from Argentina, but I’ve been in the United States for...) Argentina. (Yes.) OK. Yes, yes. In many countries, there’re not enough initiates also. Argentina not too many because I’ve been there only once I think. (Yes.) And when you don’t have too many friends supporting each other, sometimes it also affects you. And sometimes the Quan Yin messenger doesn’t come there often enough to help you. (I’m in Tennessee, there’s no Centers there.) What? (She lives in Tennessee.) (Tennessee.) (She’s in America now.) Oh, yeah? Then you should go to group meditation more often. (I’m six hours away.) Oh, yeah? Six hours, huh? So you’re alone there? (Yes.)

You have enough tapes at home? (Some.) You do? (Some.) Some. Then listen to the tapes, if you’re alone. There are many tapes that will answer any of your doubts and your questions and clear your mind. Every time you have doubt, you listen to a tape, there’s an answer inside. Or whatever your doubt is, you write it down and then during your meditation, you’ll have the answer. Just continue. What’s wrong with you? Like you don’t have enough (inner Heavenly) Light or something? (I lost it.) You lost it? (Yes.) Well, then try more. And come to group meditation sometimes. Maybe not once a week, but maybe once a month or something. Or once in a while. And get in touch with those older initiates and talk to them, and have dinner or something. Or write to me. Alright? (OK.)

Next one. Here and then here, here. One by one. One, two, three, and then over here. (It’s a joy beyond words to be in Your presence again.) Hi. (I have a question. My husband is not an initiate. And since I became initiated, we’ve been growing further and further apart in a lot of ways, that he doesn’t understand me, and it’s been a big frustration for both of us. I’m also very far away from a Center, like five hours away from the closest one. So, I don’t have any group support, any brothers or sisters around where I live. And I’ve even considered moving on my own path to live near a Center. And I’ve listened to a lot of Your tapes and gotten a lot of different advice from them. Some of it saying you should stay with your family; others saying it’s better to go alone. And I just don’t know what to do, what would be the best. I don’t want You to give me the answer. I’m just really confused about this. Because I’ve been dealing with this problem for months.)

Do you still love him? (Yes, I do.) OK. Then try and get him back. (Try to keep going?) Keep him. (OK.) Do anything you can. (Yes.) Because the more you’re distant, the more you will lose each other. You have to participate with him, the life with him, include him in your life, and tell him again and again and again, that you love him and you don’t want to lose him. And this is just one of your new hobbies. And would he please understand that. Yes. (I keep trying to tell him that, to make time for him in my life.) Yes. And he still doesn’t accept or what? (It’s very difficult for him when I’m meditating all the time.) Not all the time. No! (No! No! Not all the time, but…) OK, I understand. (But I do spend a lot of time…) OK. Why don’t you spend time with him first and after he sleeps or before he wakes up, you meditate. Or when he’s not home, you meditate. Make up for the time lost. (OK.) How about that? OK? (OK.) You have to. Because you have to help him also. See? It’s new to him and he is afraid that he’ll lose you. Maybe that’s why.

Does he love you? You know? (Yes. He does.) OK. Then it’s easy. (He’s even become vegetarian and stopped drinking and done a lot of things. So...) He does that? Became vegetarian already? (Yes!) God! Then you are terrible. (He even meditates, but he does a different meditation. He’s the one that introduced me to meditation.) So what then? Why do you say you grow apart? (Well, I guess because we are spiritual... When I talk about things, he doesn’t understand what I’m saying. And it’s spiritually, it’s intellectually… He likes to still play, go out and do things, and I don’t really have the interest in those kinds of things.) Oh! Why not go out and play and do things with him? (OK.) You don’t know how many things I have to do. Play and do things. Even wear hats. Don’t worry about this. Just do it as exercise, as a spare time, hobby.

And the spiritual things, you keep to yourself. If he doesn’t listen, if he doesn’t understand, don’t talk. Don’t talk. Your energy would be enough. Be patient. You meditate when he’s not there. Don’t play like you’re better than him now. Because he’s the one who introduced you, and now you do better than him, he feels inadequate. Maybe you show off too much. You are the latecomer, and you go forward. Play [it] “low.” Play ignorant. Thank him profusely every time, “Oh, because of you, I know this new hobby. It’s not bad. I feel better, I feel more peaceful, and I love you more.” Things like that. “I really appreciate it.” And just ask him questions about spiritual things. And it doesn’t matter what he knows. It’s fine. He’ll tell you. And he probably will teach you a thing or two, and later, he will tell you to meditate more.

Just ask him. “You introduced me to meditation. Now I’m kind of hooked on it, but I feel guilty. Would it be alright with you, or should I stop it altogether? Because I think you were right to introduce me to meditation. I feel more peaceful. But now, since we are not OK together, I feel guilty. What do you think I should do? Should I stop it for your sake?” Or what what what...? You know? And then he would be the one who’d tell you, “No, no. Meditate. Meditate. It’s OK.” (Thank You, Master.) You are terrible! You’re terrible! It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. You have to help him. But don’t let him know that you help him. Men’s ego is very strong.

You have a very good husband. Must keep him. Be very tactful, diplomatic. Diplomatic. Be very, very loving and very, very humble. OK? I think you show him too much that you know better now. That’s a problem. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t talk anymore. OK? Just meditate alone, quietly, and do everything with him, just like before. Even if you don’t like it. It doesn’t matter! What’s the difference if you walk alone on the street looking around, or walk with him and play football or whatever? There’s no difference. Is there? No difference.

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