If hand-fed, then they eat everything. Oh, my God! I said, “My God, what kind of dog-people are you? Are you dog-people or not?” Maybe they think they are princes or princesses. Princess and princes, I have so many with me, lots of princes and princesses. Sometimes they do not eat, then we have to hand-feed them something special, or something with a strong smell, then they’ll eat – like vegan cheese – the more stinky the better.
What kind of group are you? One sniffing, one coughing, one... and one... You sound like one of my dog-people. Really!
I have one dog-person named Happy. Happy, because she’s always happy, happy. Always happy! She loves to eat and sleep and snuggle. That's all she does. And when she sleeps, she snores like that! Most of them snore anyway, but in different ways. But she snores like a pig-person, you know... She also sounds like a pig. I told you she was a pig in some of her former lives, so she still looks the same, similar to a pig – short legs, big tum-tum, and walking like a pig and eating like a pig. She doesn’t look like a dog. When she first came, she did, and now she looks like a big-bellied pig.
And whenever she comes near, if she wants some food, she doesn't bark, she doesn't drool like a dog, she doesn't even whine like a dog. She goes, “Oink, oink...” I'm not kidding! It's like that. Always, she goes, “Oink, oink...” You know, just like a pig. When she sleeps, she snores also like a pig, just like that. In the dark… I told you already, sometimes in the dark, sometimes I don't see anything, but I can feel it, that somebody’s wiggling around. And I say, “Is that you, Happy?” And she says, “Oink, oink...” Never fails! And I know it's her. No need to... She does talk with her eyes and her “porky” language.
Didn't you understand? Not at all? A little bit. The German word for snoring is “snar”? (Schnarchen.) Schnarchen. When you snored, it was just like my dog-person. Can someone translate?
I have a dog who looks just like a pig-person. She looks and snores like a pig. In the dark, at night, when I cannot see anyone, I feel a dog or something nearby, and I ask, “Is that you, Happy?” That’s her name. Then she says, “Oink, oink,” then I know. She is the only dog-person who does this. The others don’t do this, they “hawl, hawl.” She makes a unique sound that no other dog-people can imitate. She is the only one. She speaks the “porky” language. When I heard you somewhere, here, there, that reminded me of my dog-person, so I laughed. I couldn’t take it. It was the same as her. If she needs or wants some food, she says it in the same language.
OK, my God! Why do you let me work with my broken German? You’re lazy. The German people are not lazy, but you’re lazy. You don’t even want to translate. I said something. I forgot. I forgot.
Are you going back home? No? (depending…) Oh, my God! You have a lot of time? (I have some from now till New Year’s, yes.) To Christmas? You don’t go home for Christmas? (I… Depending on this.) Oh, my God. That is something. Whoa! I don’t know what to do, really. Just sit here and wait for the English and the German and the Dutch and the what? The Finnish or what?
Well, how many people will stay, if suppose...? Maybe or probably, or if in case I stay here, how many of you will stay here? Half of you. What will you do? Eat and sleep (Snore.) and snore? Snore and snack. (Yes.) That is a good life. Actually we should do this every day. But too spoiled is also not good. Now, we still have many people. It’s OK. I think we should rest a little bit. Maybe go home and look after the cat- and dog-people, then we can come back again.
You are very funny. How do you say... It doesn't matter where, as long as you can go there, and then you stay. (Yes!) You don't want to move anymore. (You have trained us, Master.) I trained you in what? (To be like that.) I didn’t. I didn't! When did I tell you to do that? Normally, I organize maybe a three-day retreat or a two-day retreat or a seven-day retreat. It means three days or seven days, but not like eight days, ten days, or two times seven, and then more and more.
You know what? There's some work to do, no? Go home and do a little work. Hug the family or something. Otherwise, they’ll think you're gone, then they’ll go hug somebody else. And then when you go home, then you'll feel very sorry, and then you’ll blame the Master, the poor Master who only has dog-people to hug, even. You go home, hug your dog-people – otherwise, they might forget you, also.
It's OK. Now and again, we see each other. No need to be attached. How do you say? In Chinese, they say, “Stay put and wouldn't leave.” How do you say, “stay put and wouldn’t leave” in German? You don't know? “Stay put and wouldn’t leave.” It means someone comes to your house, then just plants himself there. Just like a tree, it grows and grows, and never leaves again. That means that someone also has no... How do you say, “not ashamed”? (Shameless.) Shameless! Very shameless. He never understands the meaning of shamelessness. He stays as long as possible, and even longer.
I tell you, if we stay here longer, then we cannot go out either. Too much food, very good food everyone becomes round and fat, and then maybe we have to break the door to go out. Oh, dear, I’m already afraid. I have eaten so much. Only two days and I already feel a little heavy. (We are used to always having such good [vegan] food. They always cook well.) Well… (I am used to eating well when I am here.) How lucky you are, such lucky people.
You always eat like this every day? (We always eat well at every retreat.) I don’t know whether at every retreat, but here you have good food. They cook very well here, I have to say. (The food always tastes good here.) And what do you eat at home? (We don’t eat much.) Not much? (We only eat here.)
Me too! That’s why I am afraid, at home I don’t eat so much because it doesn’t taste that good. And there’s too much work to do, and stress. The dog-people are always there, and want to eat my food. When I eat, I’m never alone. The assistants and dog-people are always there. They always look with big eyes, as if they haven’t eaten for a hundred years. No matter how much I give, it’s never enough. They eat and eat, and they eat very fast. If the ten dog-people are there, then you have no time.
I always spoil them. I like to do it because they suffered so much before. I would like to spoil them a little bit. They like it very much, [it’s] very welcome. Sometimes it is very bad, because they get used to... What? Habit? You get into the habit, no. That’s not how you say it. (They are used to it.) They are used to being spoiled. Now they do not eat from the bowl. How do you write this word? (N-A-P-F.) Napf [Dish]. Now they all want to be hand-fed.
Oh, God! My assistant sometimes has a headache. Ten dog-people, each one hand-fed. Sometimes they eat a little, and then wait to see if anyone will feed them. They always look around for me or for my assistant, “What is that now? Should I feed myself? There’s no such thing. Where is your hand?” It sounds funny, but at home it is like that, really. Ask my assistant. They are not like dog-people. They are like children, like babies. At first, the new dog-person eats OK, but now, he also got used to it and waits. They all want to wait. My assistant has to also hand-feed.
They eat maybe a little, then don’t eat. If hand-fed, then they eat everything. Oh, my God! I said, “My God, what kind of dog-people are you? Are you dog-people or not?” Maybe they think they are princes or princesses. I sometimes call her that, Princess Happy. And then she said, “Yes, yes, yes. I am.” Princess and princes, I have so many with me, lots of princes and princesses. Sometimes they do not eat, then we have to hand-feed them something special, or something with a strong smell, then they’ll eat – like vegan cheese – the more stinky the better.
They like the stinky (vegan) cheese, it’s appetizing. It works. Otherwise, the small poodle, if he does not eat, then we have to give fruit to tempt him. He eats a little fruit, and after that, eats the food. Otherwise, he will not eat.
My God! At home, sometimes it is so difficult to feed them. When they were just adopted, just arrived, they ate like crazy – everything. Now they wait for the good stuff, sometimes they don’t want the normal food. Something a little bit special, like (vegan) pizza, (vegan) spaghetti, or something nice. And I’ve discovered that what I find good, they like too, exactly the same. It’s like we have the same taste.
