OK, another story. These stories, I did not read yet. It’s nothing bad. Mr. Tám Tàng had a store selling all kinds of Eastern medicine. One day, his friend came to his store. Mr. Tám Tàng had some errand to run so he asked his friend to look after the store for him while he stepped out. A moment later, a man came in coughing nonstop, coughing heavily, and ran into the store asking to buy cough medicine. Since the owner was not there, the friend looked up at the shelf, grabbed some random medicine, and told the man to take two tablets. After that he just sat there waiting [for the owner to return]. Then Mr. Tám Tàng, the store owner, came back. His friend said, “This guy had a cough, so I gave him these two tablets. Now he is quiet.” Mr. Tám Tàng said, “My Heaven and Earth! You, come here, come here!” He pulled his friend all the way to the back of the house and whispered, “My God, that guy has a cough – why did you give him laxatives? You could harm him, you know?” His friend said, “There’s no problem at all, don’t you see? He took those two pills and now he’s sitting so quietly, see that?” Then Mr. Tám Tàng, the store owner, said, “Well those laxatives are very strong. Even if you tell him to clear his throat, he would not dare, let alone cough!” Understand? (Yes, we do.) How come you guys are so intelligent? If I tell you the spiritual teachings, you would not understand, but you understand all of these jokes. But there are some who do not understand, and ask others to explain. What is it? I don’t need it. Thank you.
This story is very funny. A kid, Bư, came home from school, and burst into loud crying as soon as he walked in. Mr. Tám Cà Chớn saw his son crying so much and asked, “How come you are crying so much? What happened? Did someone beat you up?” Bư said, “The teacher, he beat me.” He asked, “Why did the teacher hit you?” Bư said, “Because there was another kid who stuck chewing gum on the teacher’s chair. I saw it, but I didn’t dare tell the teacher. So I waited until the teacher came in, then I sneaked behind him, and when he was about to sit down, I pulled the chair away… so he wouldn’t sit on the chewing gum.” (He didn’t have to push the teacher, but the teacher still fell down.) Understand? (Yes, we do.) No good deed goes unpunished. A child’s way of “doing a good deed.”
(This firewood keeps crackling and popping. Move it somewhere else.) This piece of wood is popping a little bit. (Yes.) My disciples are the same. They’re always “doing me favors,” that kind of favor! Be careful, be careful! If it gets too bad, then sit a little further away. Do you want to hear more stories? (Yes, we do.) (The firewood on other side isn’t smoky, but it’s very dirty.) If we have some kind of net, and we wrapped it around like this, it would be better for the ones sitting nearby. Sit a little further over there, or somewhere else, or move to the front a bit. Just find a spot without smoke. You can sit here, up front.
There are many jokes that are not good. It’s nothing. This story is not that good, so after listening to it, we should forget it. (Yes.) It’s something that often happens in life. There were two or three young men talking together, and they said, “According to the latest statistics, women with brown eyes are not faithful.” This we have to say it in English. Otherwise, it’s no good. (Yes.) So, “according to the latest research, women with brown eyes are not faithful.” And then… The other two young men got scared and said, “My God, since the day I married her until now, I haven’t even checked what color her eyes are!” Said, “Since I married her up till now, I don’t know what my wife’s eye color is.” So, he hurried up, went home to have a look.
The young man rushed home to check. He came home and saw his wife was lying very still on the bed, so he lifted one of her eyelids to look. He said, “Oh, dear God!” He didn’t say that, but said, “No!” Like that. … He came home and opened one of her eyes. His wife was sleeping and he went home to have a look at his wife’s eyes. His wife was sleeping. So, he opened one eye and had a look. And he said, “Huh? Brown!” And then somebody came out under the bed and said, “How did you know I’m here?” “Johnny Brown, Johnny Brown! What do you do in my house?”
There was a guy who came into a restaurant, and he ordered all kinds of things: cognac, whiskey, different dishes. He ate everything, drank everything. He ate all kinds of fancy, exquisite dishes, until he was very full. Then he called the owner of the restaurant and asked, “Dear owner, I would like to know how long have you been running this restaurant?” The owner said, “About twenty years.” He asked: “How is business? Are you making any profit?” The owner said, “Thanks to God, the restaurant is doing OK, very good.” He said, “I was wondering since you opened has anyone ever ate and not paid?” “Now and then, there were people like that.” “So, dear owner, how did you deal with them?” “If I met those kinds of people, I would call them over, and then I would kick them out into the street, no big deal.” The customer stood up in front of the owner, and said, “Now I want to pay you. I want to pay my debt. Please kick me out.” Understand? (Yes, we do.)
I have a story they said I shared already, but I don’t remember whether it was me or someone else who told the story. There was a zoo, very strict and there was a crocodile(-people) pond that people usually loved to come to visit. The visitors often threw trash all over the pond, they threw things in to get the crocodile(-people) to jump up to catch, so they can watch and enjoy. Normally, the crocodile(-people) stayed underwater, they didn’t come up. To make them come up, the visitors threw things into the pond to tease the crocodile(-people). The zoo’s owner was so angry, he wrote a sign and stuck it in the middle of the pond, “Whoever throw things into the pond, must dive down to pick them up!” Dive into the crocodile(-people) pond to pick up the garbage, no problem!
Alright. There’s another story, I don’t know whether to laugh or not. There was a doctor. At midnight, he got a phone call. He picked up the phone and heard something... The doctor then told a very beautiful nurse, “Get my things ready, I need to go save a patient’s life.” The nurse asked, “What is the emergency, that you have to go out at midnight?” The doctor said, “The receptionist called and said there is a person staying at the hotel Catina nearby, and asked me to come quickly in about 20 minutes, otherwise the man would die.” The nurse was chuckling and smiling, she said, “No, that person was calling for me, not you doctor!” Oh, that makes you laugh, huh? (It is good, it’s good, Master.) Is it good? (Yes.)
Photo Caption: Loving Nature > Our Nourishing Friend!
